Brad's Music Room

The long and winding road
That leads to your door
Will never disappear
I’ve seen that road before
It always leads me here
Lead me to your door

The wild and windy night
That the rain washed away
Has left a pool of tears
Crying for the day
Why leave me standing here
Let me know the way

Many times I’ve been alone
And many times I’ve cried
Any way you’ll never know
The many ways I’ve tried

But still they lead me back
To the long winding road
You left me standing here
A long, long time ago
Don’t leave (keep) me waiting here
Lead me to your door 

These lyrics could have been written to tell the story of my spiritual journey with God because I have traveled a long and winding road to get to the place I am today.

Teens – Discovering Nature

When I was a child, my parents placed me on the road of faith by taking me to church and teaching me about God.  Summer camp and youth trips with inspiring leaders provided foundational experiences. Sadly, I heard this past week that my youth pastor, Wally Brown passed away.

20s – Wandering

During college and the first few years of my career, I lost touch with my faith.  I lived for myself, making decisions and choices that often put me in harms’ way.

I recall a time when my buddies and I were on a road trip from southwest Missouri to South Padre Island, TX for spring break.  We were involved in a bad highway collision that sent glass flying and our car spinning out of control. I wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.  Miraculously, our vehicle came to rest on the side of the road, out of the line of traffic, still intact, with everyone inside okay.  It could have been so much worse. It should have been so much worse.  Looking back, I see God at work, sparing our lives.

30s – Discovering Religion

In the ’80’s, Linda and I got married and lived in St. Louis.  About the time we started a family we also began attending church so our daughter might have the same faith foundation we had been given. In the ’90’s, our family of four relocated to San Antonio where we made Coker UMC our church home. I read scripture and attended Bible study trying to reconcile my beliefs with what others were telling me it meant to be a Christian. My breakthrough moment happened when I took a Bible study on Confronting the Controversies which covered euthanasia, assisted suicide, creationism, abortion, and homosexuality. We learned that there are valid arguments to be made on both sides of every controversial issue. The more scripture I read and studied, particularly the New Testament, the less judgmental I became.

40s – Discovering Spirituality

Years passed.  About the time I went on long-term disability, a friend invited me to attend a spiritual weekend retreat. It was a turning point for me. My focus changed from learning to serving. I found that when I served others my heart filled with joy. I organized and led seven mission trips, with 30+ missionaries to an orphanage in Piedras Negras, Mexico. Our groups helped get the orphanage started in January 2005 and it has been home to over 150 children. I served as a group leader and shared my story on two retreats. Finally, I joined the high school students on their mission trip to Alabama to prepare slide shows, upload pictures to the Internet, and select music for worship services. I have experienced great joy as I’ve watched my own daughters’ servant hearts at work as they participated in mission opportunities first as youth and now, as adults.

50s – Discovering Spiritual Intimacy

Despite my physical limitations, or perhaps because of them, I feel God in my life 24/7. I now need assistance with 90% of my daily activities. I still have enough dexterity in my hand to drive my chair. Dictation software on my computer allows me to create blog posts and share my love of music with my followers. This brings me great joy and gives my life purpose.

Today a caregiver will come and get me out of bed, help me with all morning activities of daily living (ADL’s), dress me, and feed me breakfast. Someone else will prepare and feed me lunch. I will then use the next 2-3 hours to work on my blog and complete any other activities. After a nap, Linda and I will watch the news and she will prepare a gourmet meal, feed it to me, and wash the dishes. Typically I am tired, grumpy, and unappreciative. Linda (weekends) or another caregiver (weeknights) will help me with my nighttime ADL’s, undress me and put me in bed. Finally, Linda will come and tuck me in.

My life is a modern-day manifestation of the Parable of the Good Samaritan. MS is the robber in my story but God continues to send Good Samaritans my way. Linda is my greatest Samaritan. She showers me with unconditional love and treats me like the center of her universe. She plans her days, weeks and months around me, always considering my needs above hers. Caring for me must feel like the pounding surf, where surviving each wave means bracing for the next. She does so with a silent dignity and never complains about the short straw she has drawn, sentenced to a lifetime of drudgery and self-sacrifice. She is the angel God sent to look after me.

I feel His grace every minute of every day. I will fall asleep tonight thanking God for Linda, the other Angels, and all the gifts he has bestowed upon me.

God,

My spiritual journey is like a long and winding road that leads to your door.

And though I know the road will never disappear there are times I stray. When I find my way back, I remember that I’ve seen that road before and it always leads me here, leads me to your door.

My 20’s were a wild and windy night that the rain washed away leaving me with a pool of tears crying for the day. 

You did not leave me standing here, You let me know the way. 

“The Long and Winding Road“ is a ballad written by Paul McCartney (credited to Lennon–McCartney) from the Beatles’ album Let It Be. It became the group’s 20th and last number-one song in the United States in June 1970, and was the last single released by the quartet.

Let It Be is the 12th and final studio album by the English rock band the Beatles. It was released on 8 May 1970, almost a month after the group’s break-up. Like most of the band’s previous releases, it was a number one album in many countries, including both the US and the UK, and was released in tandem with the motion picture of the same name.

She wasn’t much to look at.  From the rear she was a bit wider than most.  Her 11 year relationship with the only man she’d ever known had recently ended. Although they had created many memories together, he was simply looking for a newer model.  A child of the 60’s, she was showing her age.  Today, she would meet the man with whom she would spend her golden years.

It was my 16th birthday. I was excited about trying to get my drivers license. Before heading to the license bureau, we decided to open presents. I was surprised and elated when one of my packages contained a set of car keys. I went to the front door to see what awaited me in the driveway. I was stunned. To say I was disappointed would be a vast understatement.

It turned out my “new car” was a 1962 Ford Galaxy 500. The ugly, dark green paint was pocked with numerous rust spots.  Its tires were big, wide white walls.  There was a rusted hole in the driver side floor board that, I later discovered, enabled rain water to splash up whenever driving through puddles. The radio only played a.m. stations. I would later find out that dad paid a friend $100 for the car.

If this was going to be my car, the first order of business would be to install a proper stereo. I went to the local big box store and purchased the latest stereo equipment: A quadraphonic 8-track tape player with four speakers and a mount that let you remove the player and store it in your glove box. The whole setup cost about $200 (earned at Leong’s). To save money I installed it myself.

The Ford became known as “The Bomb.”  Ours was a tenuous relationship.  I don’t remember if the Bomb became unreliable or I simply convinced mom I would be better off driving her Pinto wagon but a few months later the transition took place.  The quadraphonic 8-track tape player with four speakers and mount made the move with me.  I could make do with any set of wheels as long as I had the means to play the music I loved while I drove.

“Don’t Let Me Down” is a song by the Beatles (with Billy Preston), recorded in 1969 during the Let It Be sessions. It was written by John Lennon and credited to Lennon–McCartney.

Hey Jude (original title: The Beatles Again) is a 1970 collection of non-album singles and B-sides by the Beatles. It included “I Should Have Known Better” and “Can’t Buy Me Love”, two singles released by Capitol Records whose only previous American album appearance had been on the A Hard Day’s Night soundtrack album, which had been released by United Artists Records. The Hey Jude LP had been out of print since the late 1980s, although it remained available on cassette during the 1990s. The album was issued on CD for the first time in 2014, as an individual release and in a box set titled The U.S. Albums.

“New Led Zeppelin album comes out tomorrow.”
“House of Sound opens at 9 o’clock.”
“Shotgun!”
“You can’t call shotgun the day before.”
“Rockcritic is going to write a review for The Mole Press.” (editor’s note: The Mole Press was an underground newsletter produced by my journalism class and Rockcritic was my pen name.)

The next day we piled into my Pinto station wagon and went to our favorite record store to pick up a copy of Physical Graffiti.  Five neighborhood friends: me, my brother David (a.k.a. Bert), Horton, Rippee, and Miller. I drove because I was the only one who was 16. Bert, Horton, and Rippee fought over the passenger seat. Miller has cerebral palsy and it was always easier just to stick him in the “cage,” the cargo area in the back of my station wagon.

On any given day, you would find the five of us in one of our basements. Rippee and Miller had pool tables, Horton had a bumper pool table and Chinese pinball machine, and we had a foosball table and pinball machine. We also had a large stash of board games usually played three at a time. Winning a Triple Crown was the ultimate goal. Of course we all had stereos and listening to music was the centerpiece of our entertainment. We listened to all genres of music: classic rock (e.g. Led Zeppelin), folk (Neil Young), singer/songwriter (James Taylor), Southern rock, (the Allman Brothers), Progressive rock (Pink Floyd), and even comedy (Cheech and Chong). The Beatles were, of course, my favorite. Miller liked KISS, and Rippee was a Rush fan.

Bert and I left for college and he now lives in Fenton, MO. I have lost touch with Rippee. Horton still lives in Springfield and he periodically checks on Miller. Miller lives in his childhood home where his original pool table still resides.

“All Together Now” is a song by the Beatles written primarily by Paul McCartney and credited to Lennon–McCartney. The song was recorded during the band’s Magical Mystery Tour period, but remained unreleased until it was included on the Yellow Submarine soundtrack.  It was released as a single in 1972 in European countries such as France and Germany, backed by “Hey Bulldog.”

Yellow Submarine is the tenth studio album by the English rock band the Beatles, released on 13 January 1969 in the United States and on 17 January 1969 in the United Kingdom. It was issued as the soundtrack to the animated film of the same name, which premiered in London in July 1968. The album contains six songs by the Beatles, of which “Yellow Submarine” and “All You Need Is Love” had previously been released as singles. The remainder of the album was a re-recording of the film’s orchestral soundtrack by the band’s producer, George Martin.