Is began as a simple abrasion between two toes. The resulting infection would prove resistant to any antibiotics Paul’s doctors would prescribe. For the next five months dad moved back-and-forth between the hospital and a rehab facility called the Maples. During this time he went through four surgeries, including amputation of both legs. Eventually dad could no longer swallow. He lost weight to the point he weighed barely 100 pounds. On June 13 he was approved for hospice.
We made arrangements to travel to Springfield to see dad. Lauren booked a flight to arrive in San Antonio June 19. We planned to leave the next morning for the two day excursion. Brian called the evening of June 18 to tell me the pneumonia dad had been battling finally got the best of him.
After spending several hours in the Detroit airport on June 19 Lauren returned home, her flight canceled. Thus began a series of unfortunate events. The next day Lauren booked a flight from Detroit to DFW and we picked her up at the airport. Due to construction and our unfamiliarity with Fort Worth and the DFW Airport we made several wrong turns. This set us back about one hour and increased our stress level. In the meantime my brothers, David and Brian were busy drafting his obituary (Paul Hickman obituary) and making plans for the visitation and funeral. Visitation: Thursday 6 to 8 PM, Funeral: Friday 2 PM
Despite all these setbacks it was a beautiful God filled week. At Thursday night’s visitation guests related numerous stories about dad, the majority of which I had never heard. Mom’s grieving seemed to dissipate with all the encouragement she received from her friends.
At the funeral papa’s sons, grandchildren and great-grandchildren played and sang a gospel version of Any Day Now.
Brian told a story about how dad met two musicians on a business trip to the UK. These two gentlemen were in a band called Judas Priest. Unfortunately he did not get any autographs, guitar picks, concert tickets or anything else. He also talked about how we always said that, like a cat dad had nine lives, but that he had used them all up about 20 years ago.
David gave a few examples of dad’s business life and how he was a man of integrity in all his business dealings. He talked about dad’s love of crossword puzzles and his dominance in Trivial Pursuit.
I talked about interviewing him last Fall for a blog post and how I found out several things about him I never knew. He lived with Porter Wagner his first year in college. He tried out as a pitcher for the St. Louis Cardinals. He turned down a full scholarship to Drury College because they did not offer a chemistry degree.
I have heard it said that “Who you are speaks far more eloquently than anything you say or do”. Though he was far from perfect, his courage in dealing with the constant pain and suffering of rheumatoid arthritis inspire me. Dad was a quiet, humble man and I strive to follow his example.
Your assignment for this week: Call your parent(s). If you don’t have a parent call a sibling, aunt or uncle, or other family member. Find out something about them that you did not already know.
Beautiful tribute, Brad. Hugs….
Nicely done–your dad was a humble man, but he loved boasting about his kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids!
So beautifly spoken. Thank you for the reminder to connect and love.
Beautifully written by one of the coolest people I have ever known. Paul was always positive, incredibly interested and interesting and had a sense of fun in the face of everything. Someone recently said to me how proud he was of his sons and I think very deservedly so.
Wonderful to read about you Father. I hope the great memories outweigh your sorrow. Love to you and your family, Ali
Brad, Brian and Burt-it was our honor to attend your dad’s services. We didn’t have the chance to be around him that much….but when we were…it was a pleasure. Your choice of Tim’s song was perfect….he did strike us as a humble and kind man. From our brief conversations we know he loved you all much and had an incredible memory. When we visited him in the hospital…he was in much discomfort but he said, “the big catfish that David and Jason caught”! They were only about 7 years old, we were camping at my uncles farm and they were sooooo proud of this monster! He remembered because he loved and was interested in the lives of his kids and grandkids!
Our prayers are with your family as we all await the time in the future see him again.
Blessings,
Gary & Janetta
Beautiful tribute! There’s so much about others that we don’t know. Peace and comfort to you, Brad.
Your beautiful remembrance cheered my heart today. I’m so thankful Paul T. & I spoke not long before his death, we shared love notes. He was always a dear, caring, & helpful cousin to me. Love & hugs, betty
Brad I just read this. Please accept my sincere sorrow for your loss. Prayers are with you and your family.
Your tribute & anecdotes from your Dad’s life described what I would perceive as ‘a life well lived.’ Though we have been acquainted for a relatively short time, it seems to me that you have been blessed to receive many of your Dad’s gifts and graces. Coming from personal experience and loss, I can only underscore your admonition to all of us to take the time to know and love your family members well…beginning today! Thank you, Brad! May the Light of God that you so willingly share grant you peace.